Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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