She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dick very happy bro
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
