The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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