Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
