Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
