Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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