You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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