it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
