Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
