the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
