She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
