Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
