Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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