If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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