yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
