that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I want a musical about memes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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