I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
