I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
