Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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