All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
