Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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