Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
