Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
