I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
