that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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