sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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