I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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