HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
