I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
