I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
