I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
