Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
