I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
