He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
