Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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