What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
