jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
