She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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