It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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