I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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