what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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