So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
