Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
