Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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