The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
