apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
