we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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