All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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