bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
