bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
